


Dream A Little Dream Of Me

by Unda



Series: It's the end of the world as we know it [28]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mind Control, basically mentions of mindfang being the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 07:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unda/pseuds/Unda
Summary: Kanaya's life before coming to Earth and her long journey to get there. Happens before chapter 5 of MC Escher.





	Dream A Little Dream Of Me

_“Stars shining bright above you_

_Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"_

_Birds singing in the sycamore trees_

_Dream a little dream of me”_

  


Your name is KANAYA MARYAM and you are two and a half sweeps old. Old enough that you should not be flailing awake in your sopor in the middle of the day from a daymare. You pull yourself out and shake your hair off as globs of sopor drop back into your coon. You clothes are still tacky, the long sleeves sticking to your skin. Ideally you should go back to sleep but now that you are awake you are hungry.

You scratch at your drying sleep clothes as you walk upstairs, as you go you wonder what you still have left to eat. You are running a little low because the food delivery drone is late _again_. Vriska always says that it is way better where she lives, closer to the city gives her better routes with the drones. It hardly matters, you are not really in a position to move and in all honesty you like where you live. Grabbing a dehydrated nutrition block you stealth roll past your sleeping lusus and climb up the ladder to the roof of the part of your hive that protrudes above the desert sands.

Unlike most trolls the sun does not bother you at all, it feels lovely and warm in fact. You sit on the orblike roof of your tower and chew on your food. Or what you charitably call food at least. You eye the area around your hive, you have been trying to grow some plants but the whole living in a desert thing is making that frustratingly hard. Hm.

[grimAuxiliatrix began trolling arachnidsGrip]

GA: I Do Not Expect You To Be Awake But Your Blueblooded Neighbour Is Good With Mechanical Problems Am I Right

GA: Damn What Was His Name Again

AG: It's Equius and I am awake actually.

GA: Oh What Are You Doing Awake At This Time Of Night

AG: Well, my dum8ass genius neigh8our managed to crack his horn clean through to the marrow and i toooooooold him that it'd get infected 8ut no why listen to me?

GA: Oh My

AG: Yeah well I ordered him the medical stuff he needs for it and then I sawed through it for him. He's gonna owe me soooooooo 8ig after this >:::;D

GA: Oh Well I Hope He Survives And If He Does Could You Perhaps Lever A Little Of That Good Will For Me

GA: I Want A Machine That Will Distribute Water Around The Ground Outside My Hive

AG: What do you want something like that for?

GA: I Want To Grow Plants And That Proves Tricky In A Desert But If I Get Water Distributed I Could Do It

Groaning comes from below you and you slide to the edge of your sloped roof as close as you dare and look down. An undead is savaging one of the few saplings that you had managed to coax into life, distantly you see several others around and something else moving out there. It is probably an animal of some kind, the thing is not moving like one of the undead but it is too far away for you to see what it is. You fling the packet that your chewy nutrition block came in at the undead below but the wind catches it first. Damnit.

GA: I Think I Will Also Build A Path Around Them To Look At Them And A Fence To Keep The Undead Out

AG: Whatever you say.

AG: Equius could 8uild that for you 8ut that's if he lives. Which I hope he does, he's useful. 8ut if he doesn't it's food for Mom I suppose.

GA: That Is A Very Optimistic Way Of Looking At It And Speaking Of Optimism I Think I Hear The Grocery Drone Arriving Finally

AG: You really need to stop living in the desert with the undead and the crappy drones.

GA: Would It Be Proof Of Your Assertion If Said Drone Has Just Crashed Into The Ground Outside My Hive

AG: Duh.

GA: I Think If I Go Downstairs I Can Sneak Out And Grab It Before Any Of The Undead Get Near

AG: That sounds pretty risky! 8e careful ok?

GA: I Thought You Liked Adventurers

You grin to yourself and stand up, careful with your footing on the sloping roof. You have walked across this so many times, you know what you are doing. It would take quite a lot to unstick your footing!

A sharp sudden pain in your arm will do it, though. You jerk in pain and throw your balance off, you windmill your arms desperately and sink your claws into a large sheet of peach gauze that you have tied to your roof to flutter in the breeze. It is not enough to stop you falling but as you pitch back over the roof and down to the ground below you can only hope that it will stop the fall from killing you. Your back and head hit the sand below and you black out so fast that the pain does not even reach you.

You open your eyes, bleary and dizzy. Pain throbs through your… well, through your everything. You groan and bring your hand to your head, everything feels fine, you are not leaking thinksponge out anywhere as far as you can feel.

A figure appears over you, blotting out the sun. You shriek and shuffle back away from it, forcing yourself upright as you scoot back on your backside. But it is not one of the undead, it is a troll.

“So you have some sense of self preservation, then.” she says and you eye her warily. Her horns are the same as yours and she is wearing a thick leather coat and bright jade scarf, a chainsaw dangles loosely from her fingertips. The sign on her shirt is just the same as yours.

“Who- who are you?” you stammer out as you try to suppress your fear. She is older than you, obviously maybe… what? Four or five? Old enough and armed enough to be bad news, and with the way your head is swimming you do not fancy your chances in a brawl against her.

“Porrim. Porrim Maryam.” she answers and reverts her chainsaw back into a lipstick again. Makeupkind! That is… oh that is such a cool specibus! You still have not settled on your own yet, though your lusus fusses at you to.

“I’m Maryam. Kanaya I mean, but we have the same last name?” you ask, stumbling to your feet uneasily. Porrim helps to steady you but lets you move back away from her when you are stable.

“With your horns and sign I figured you might be, or at least I was curious enough to stop you getting eaten.” she says, tilting her head towards several undead around your hive that are now in bits.

“Oh. Oh my, thank you, I-” you struggle for the words. This kind of kindness is rare and especially as you seem so similar to this girl, though you cannot imagine being as cool as her even when you are her age.

“I think that we must have the same ancestor. There’s not too many jadebloods around so it’s possible, and with the similarities it seems likely.” Porrim says. You nod in agreement and then as things spin you rather wish that you had not.

“Do you live around here too?” you question her as he puts lipstick on.

“If you have an address people know where you are.” she tells you coolly.

“Yes,” you say slowly, “that is how it works.”

“You should get inside, your lusus is probably worried about you.” she says. You are about to go in when you spot the fallen drone and its precious package of food, now somewhat dented. You gasp and rush to it, kicking the drone until it releases the box. You pull it free with a heave.

“Don’t you have a weapon of any kind?” Porrim asks you.

“I… um.” you hesitate. The benefits of telling another troll that you are unarmed and untrained are very VERY few. Porrim walks over to you, her stylish coat blowing in the desert breeze as she moves. You tense, fearing attack but she simply drops her lipstick in your box of supplies and grabs a wrapped nutrient block in exchange.

“Girls have gotta look after each other.” she tells you conspiritally and turns away, walking off into the desert without a backwards look at you.

Damn you wish you could be that cool.

You scuttle inside and drop the box in the kitchen. You immediately pull the lipstick out. It is not your specibus but, well, you do have that empty card for it. You allocate it immediately and with a little fiddling you have a roaring chainsaw in your hands and, thankfully, all of your limbs still.

Your lusus flutters into the kitchen and regards your weapon favourably. It does not stop her from fussing you back into your coon again though.

It is only when the sun sets and you wake up again that you change and see it.

You did not think of what it was that startled you off of the roof and the head trauma and shock of meeting Porrim rather put the question of why you fell out of your head. But now it is plain to see. There on your arm is a flower of some kind but you do not much care for the details, what you do know is this. It is a mark from a human. You have been… infected somehow. No one knows how they do it, whether their disease of human relationships spreads through some kind of space borne parasite or what but this mark on your skin links you to some human. And all trolls know humans are psychotic, wild, and savage creatures which spread their madness to innocent trolls. Of course it means that the empire understandably will no longer trust you, all the schoolfeeds say that infected trolls turn traitor to the empire and have to be culled for everyone’s safety.

You will never make it to ascension now, even if you stop anyone else seeing it someone will spot it when you are going off world and being checked for your fitness. Even though as a jadeblood you would be expected to stay on Alternia you would still be tested for disease before being allowed to handle the grubs and you are desperately sick.

You are not so foolish as to search for information online, not from your hive at least. Thankfully your moirail is able to ‘acquire’ a husktop from places you would sooner not ask about and you are able to go far away from your hive and untraceably search for information there. You learn that your condition is incurable and furthermore that removal of the infected limb is not enough to stop the mark, it simply appears elsewhere. Would that this was a problem that chainsaw use could fix.

A perigree later Porrim shows up again, she is bleeding from her leg and the sun is just rising as she hammers on your door.

“Can I stay here… overday?” she asks, panting.

The gash on her leg looks bad, not terribly so but more than enough to attract and unmanageable amount of attention from the undead.

“Normally I wouldn’t ask, but…” she trails off, you catch her peering around the door perhaps to see if you lusus is close and any threat. You shuffle your sleeve down over your arm just to be sure that it was indeed covering your mark.

“You did say that girls have to look out for each other.” you tell her and step aside.

Porrim sags in obvious relief and steps inside. She drops into a chair and wriggles out of her coat. She sets her foot up on another chair and gingerly pulls her sock down past the big gash. Efficiently she pulls a medical kit out and starts to take care of her injury. You try to make a show of being busy in the kitchen preparing a drink instead of staring at her. You definitely have some similarities to her, you can see it in her face shape too. You cannot help but wonder if you will ever make it to her age. She looks up and sees you watching her.

“I like your shirt.” you blurt out, needing to say something and for some reason settling on that. In fairness you do like her shirt, it is sleek and black with the tiniest cap sleeves on the top that are very clearly for fashion and not the simple purpose of putting arms through. Alternian fashion is basically nonexistent and so very utilitarian, it makes you sad.

“I made it myself.” she tells you.

“I sew as well.” you tell her and put a drink on the table for her too.

“Another thing we have in common.” Porrim smiles at you. You eye her blank arms, you clearly do not have everything in common.

Your lusus flutters out later but instead of reacting with hostility she seems to just treat Porrim as if she was more or less you. You know that your lusus is more intelligent than most people’s so maybe she can just tell that Porrim means you no harm.

The pair of you talk about many things. You talk of your moirail, of your attempts to cultivate a garden, of your lusus. When you ask her about her own lusus she goes quiet so you resolve not to do so again. You ask her where her home is and she tells you that she does not have one.

“Did it get destroyed?” you ask with some trepidation.

“I don’t know, maybe. I just… what do you want to be when you’re older, Kanaya?” Porrim asks, fiddling with her bandage.

“I… would like to be better at designing clothes and gardening. But I suppose my role would be in the caverns.” this of course is a lie, that was what you had wanted but you cannot have that life anymore. Porrim looks at you and frowns.

“There are other problems with that but do you really just want to do what other people tell you you’re supposed to do? We didn’t ask to be jade, so why should we get roped into helping breed more bodies for the empire to churn through? Why can’t we choose something else to do? I don’t want that life, that’s why I left so that they couldn’t find me when the time comes. I’ll choose my own life.” Porrim declares.

“Well, I suppose… I mean it is not bad work. You do not have to go out fighting in a war, you just help grubs to survive.” you say, suddenly uncertain as to whether you are wrong about the whole thing.

“And killing any that the empire deems unfit and the caverns don’t kill off themselves.” Porrim adds.

“If they survive the caverns they should be fit to go and live.” you mumble, looking down at your drink.

“That’s not how it works, Kanaya.” Porrim tells you.

“It would for me.” you say defiantly, lifting your chin and staring her down.

“I would help them.” you add.

“Secret rebellion, huh? I like it.” Porrim laughs and you are not totally sure if she is mocking you or not.

Later you are heating up some food for you both and Porrim is idly tidying up your countertop for something to do.

“You have a lot of books on flowers.” she notes and you still. Glancing at your arm you see that your mark is still covered.

“I- I like gardening.” you say timidly.

“With ‘invasive off world flora’?” Porrim asks suspiciously as she looks up from one book.

“I…” you say hesitating.

Porrim looks at you suspiciously and her eyes flick to your covered arm.

“I doubt you’ll find anything about Earth flowers in here, that’s what that is, right?” she asks, pointing at your arm.

“H-how do you-?” you gasp. Your chainsaw drops into your hand, already revving. You have little practice with it but if it is this or die you would rather try to live.

“Hey, I just meant your arm is all. I saw it last time when you fell off of the roof, I just wanted to be sure you didn’t break anything. I’m not going to tell anyone about it.” Porrim says carefully, eyeing the chainsaw that she no doubt regrets giving you now.

“I h-haven’t even told my moirail!” you whimper.

“Well that’s… it’s okay. I won’t say anything. Besides, I don’t exist, remember? And you haven’t squeakbeasted on me to the authorities, why would I do it to you?” she points out. You lower your chainsaw until it is just a capped lipstick in your palm.

“They are going to kill me when they find out.” you sniffle.

“You’re stronger than that.” Porrim assures you and pats your head.

  
  


Porrim more or less comes and goes as she likes after that, dropping in on you maybe once or twice a perigree. You do not know why it took you so long but you finally tell Vriska about her. She is… less than pleased.

AG: So she's just 8een coming to you whenever she wants?!

GA: Well She Wanders Around A Lot I Think My Hive Is The Only Place She Returns To Regularly

AG: God, see this is why you need me around. You'd 8e helpless without me. You can't just trust some other troll that's that much older than you.

GA: But We Share An Ancestor And Besides She Has Had Plenty Of Opportunities To Harm Me And Not Done So

AG: Oh pleaaaaaaaase. That's pro8a8ly a con, what're the odds of that 8eing real? Her horns are pro8a8ly fake extensions over little ones and she just makes copied shirts of gulli8le trolls like you to win your favour. All she had to do was look at your drones to get your last time and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

GA: That Would Be A Lot Of Effort To Go To For Very Little Benefit As I Simply Give Her A Place To Sleep Sometimes And Food

GA: We Are Friends

AG: A likely story, it seems to me that you and her are taking pity on each other.

GA: What

AG: She looks after you like some 8ig strong older troll and you just open your doors for her. I dou8t that you even 8uy this same ancestor 8aloney, you just like the excuse to pity each other!

GA: Are You Accusing Me Of Being Unfaithful

AG: May8e you can work that out, fussyfangs! Shove off with your fussing why don't you?

[arachnidsGrip has blocked you]

GA: But

GA: <>

You never even got to tell her about your mark. A perigree later Equius’ watering system arrives to you in a bunch of drone crates, you do not know if he sent them before Vriska abandoned you or if this is her way of softening the blow.

You do not mention your breakup to Porrim next time she shows up, that would ring too close to Vriska’s accusation. You know that she is not lying about your shared ancestor because you have seen her in your dreams. The one where you dream of the golden city and clouds that show you things you do not understand. Porrim dreams of it too and you have seen her there, spoken to her and she remembers it. So you do not talk about Vriska, instead you lament about your mark and how it has doomed you.

“I cannot even remove the offending limb, it will just show up on another one.” you say miserably.

“What about covering it up?” Porrim asks curiously, looking up from oiling the gears of her chainsaw.

“I already do that but they will inspect me eventually.” you say with a shake of your head.

Porrim looks thoughtful for a moment and then leans up to your desk where you make your sewing designs. You have a bottle of nice ink there that you use with a dip pen when doing your fancier designs. She snags it off of the table and walks over to you, dropping into a cross legged position in front of you.

“Give me your arm.” she says, uncorking the bottle and pulling her medical kit out.

You are not certain what she means to do but you pull your sleeve back anyway and give her your arm. Porrim removes a needle from a syringe and dips it in the ink. She eyes the edges of your flower mark and then quickly stabs you a few times, holding you fast when you try to pull back.

“OW!” you protest and your lusus looks up from her nap spot in the corner.

“Shh, look.” Porrim says, wiping it clean. There is a black line through one of the petals now, it is covered up!

“I figure we cover it up, let it heal and then see if we can incorporate it into a design that looks deliberate and Alternian instead of from Earth.” she says mischievously.

“You are a genius. I… oh, I could pass an inspection like this. I could still work in the caverns! But… I thought you hated that idea, why are you helping me?” you ask her with a frown.

“I want all us jade girls to get a choice about the life we’re supposed to live. If that doesn’t allow for someone choosing to do what we’re supposed to then it’s not really people choosing that I’m fighting for, is it? That’s just making people do what I want and that’d make me like them.” Porrim reasons. You nod dumbly and so she smiles at you, takes your hand in hers again and puts more ink on her needle. An hour later the whole thing is blacked out and it is time for you to sleep anyway.

You crawl into your coon and Porrim sleeps with a sopor patch on her that she stole from an Alternian military transport vehicle. On some of them the adults do not have space for their own rooms so they have these stick on patches. She stole loads of them and she can cut them up really small to make them last longer, she is not an adult so the dose stretches further.

When you awake in the evening there is a scummy grey film on the top of your sopor and you pull your arm out to see the flower on your skin as bright as ever. It rejected the ink. You float there and loathe the terrible purple flower.

Porrim sighs when she sees it and says that she will be back.

She returns only two days later, right when you are in the middle of contemplating burning the mark. Would it heal the burn or just move the mark to a different limb like it would if you cut it off? More importantly do you have to guts to try it?

The front door swings open and you turn to look at Porrim.

“What do you think?” she asks, holding her arm out. It is covered in swirls and intricate blocked in patterns. You gasp in horror, did you infect her too somehow?

“I did it myself,” she continues and holds the other arm out which is similarly patterned, “the way I figure it is you can say I drew it on you. And if you like we can do your other arm in a similar style, hide it in plain sight.”

You hug Porrim close to you. Vriska is wrong, you are not pale for her, nor flushed or anything else. You do love her, though, but it is beyond friendship. You feel like there should be a word for what she is to you but if there is you do not know it.

A sweep passes before Porrim, now more tattooed than before asks you about the reason for your mark.

“Have you thought about who gave it to you?” she asks as she holds a bolt of black satin up to her chest and peers at herself in the mirror.

“I do not really know how it is spread. Something imported maybe?” you wonder, talking through a mouthful of pins as you to keep this uncooperative hem in place. If you ever work with fabric with this many directions of stretch in it again you may beat yourself to death with your serger.

“No, silly. Don’t you even know what that mark means? It means you have a bond with a human.” Porrim says, turning around to look at you.

“Yes, the one who infected me.” you nod. You have read the schoolfeeds.

“That’s just what they tell you. Sure it is an infection, sort of. But humans don’t see it that way, they’re supposedly not as bad as the empire makes out. They’re real people and they see it as some kind of destiny, a star-crossed, hatched-for-each-other kind of thing. Don’t you wonder who out there has a mark because of you?” she asks.

You pause and peel back your sleeve, looking at the mark which has now spread to an animal skull as well as the flower.

“They are people?” you wonder.

“Yeah, the empire just hates them because they’re stronger than the Empress’ forces. So they lie, say they’re monsters. But what have told you, if someone has to lie about the truth…” she says leadingly.

“Ask what they are hiding.” you finish for her. Porrim has lots of thoughts on lots of things but her views are always very anti-establishment. You hope she can hide when it comes time for her ascension or that she can sneak off world somehow.

Still, you look at your mark a little differently from then on. You wonder if somewhere thousands of lightyears away there is someone looking down at their arm thinking of you. The thought is… comforting somehow.

You get used to a lot of things as time goes on. You get used to Porrim living with you almost full time. It is not like how things were with Vriska, even though you were younger then and playing at moirallegiance. You mostly leave each other be unless you are engaging in your mutual interest of sewing. She shows you how to fight a little better with you chainsaw but does not pester you to practice or pit you against tougher enemies like a moirail would in an effort to improve you. You just like each other and she would prefer to not go away for a week and find you eaten by the undead when she returns.

So, you are moirail-less and perfectly content. As such you are surprised when Vriska suddenly contacts you out of the blue.

[arachnidsGrip began trolling grimAuxiliatrix]

AG: ANCESTORS ARE REAL!!!!!!!!

GA: I Thought You Always Believed That Since You Looked For Your Ancestors Things And I Also Thought You Were Not Speaking To Me Anymore On Account Of How You Have Not Been Speaking To Me For A Sweep

AG: I was mad, I got over it, now I'm telling you a8out my ancestor. Keep up Maryam!

GA: I Had Somehow Forgotten That You Were Like This

AG: Wh8ver! The point is that I have a person with the same ancestor too! Her name is Aranea!

GA: Okay

AG: W8! She showed up WITH MY ANCESTOR!!!!!!!!

GA: An Adult On Alternia

GA: Colour Me Highly Sceptical Of This

AG: No, it's like I always told you. She's a pir8, she has her own ship and she snuck 8ack to the planet for her loot 8ut I had it instead so she came looking for me and picked up her other descendant too!

GA: So Why Are You Telling Me This

AG:You don't 8elieve me, do you?

GA: …

AG: Fine! Let me just take a picture to prove it.

[arachnidsGrip sent photo ‘pr88f’]

You open the image and stare. There is Vriska, older now but still obviously her. Peering over her shoulder is an older girl about Porrim’s age with the same seven pupilled eye as Vriska. In the background behind both of them is a tall woman sat on the floor with a white ball held up to her face like those magic eight balls Vriska always used to break. You would almost say that her slick black skin was on an actual statue except for the motion blur and light reflecting off of her eyes from the camera flash as she looks around to see what is happening.

“PORRIM!” you shout.

“What? I was just about to go out, you didn’t need to shout.” Porrim says as she walks over to you. You point out at the projected picture and Porrim stares with wide eyes.

“There shouldn’t be adults on the planet except jadebloods, there hasn’t been for sweeps and sweeps. Long before either of us were hatched I don’t think. But… I don’t know how long exactly. Still, what’s going on?” Porrim gasps, kneeling down by your side.

GA: Is It Safe For You To Be Around Her

AG: Oh now she 8elieves me!

GA: Vriska Be Reasonable

AG: Yeah wh8ver. She says she needs us.

GA: I Do Not Know How Reassuring You Believe That To Be But I Suggest That You Take Whatever Amount You Feel That Is And Perhaps Quarter It And That Is How Reassured I Am At This Moment

AG: I'm going to ignore that and tell you the cool story of why she's here instead. So 8uckle up Maryam 8ecause this involves you too, that's why I'm telling you.

GA: Somehow I Think That You Are Just Ignoring Me At This Point

AG: Correct, now shut up, I was 8eing interesting. So, some ten to fifteen sweeps ago there was a revolution 8rewing on Alternia. Adults were still allowed here then and that revolution was the reason why they're not now. This revolution was started 8y a man called The Signless or The Sufferer.

AG: Now the interesting thing is that he wasn't raised 8y a lusus 8ecause what lusus wants a mutant? So a jade8lood named The Dolorosa raised him. She had something in common with you and your "friend" Porrim, namely a last name. She was your ancestor! My ancestor Mindfang knew your ancestor AND Equius' ancestor Darkleer too!

GA: How Did She Know Her

AG: That's complic8d and not rel8d to the point that I'm making. Shh. The point is they knew this other troll, a psionic with the power to talk to the dead as well as the 'throw stuff around' psionics too. Now, she's dead 8ut has apparently kept those skills AS a ghost.

GA: The More Detail That You Give Me The Less Convinced I Become

AG: Stop interrupting! The point is that this ghost lady started haunting Mindfang and sending other ghosts to haunt her too until she came here looking for a magic item that would let her see what she needed to do. It turns out that what she needs to do is to get all nine of us together. That is to say you, Porrim, Dolorosa, Equius, his older Zahhak person who we haven't found yet, Darkleer, Aranea, Mindfang and of course, me.

AG: You should come here.

You take your fingers off of the keys and consider for a moment. Vriska was never the planet’s most trustworthy troll, even when she did call herself your moirail. She ditched you for a whole sweep without so much as a by your leave and now she shows up in your trollslum, which is still empty aside from her, talking about ancestors, pirates, adventure and more. But you have your own problems and there is so much risk to getting involved in what Vriska is suggesting. You never even told her about your mark and if things go badly for her she has a lot to lose if she is involved with an adult and may well betray you. And then where will you be? In a rather deep body of excrement without an aquatic vehicle propulsion device is where.

GA: Actually I Dont Think I Shall

GA: I Hope That Your Adventure Proves Fun And Fruitful In Whatever Way You Are Anticipating It To

AG: W8, are you seriously not going to come here?

GA: I Am Seriously Not Going To Go There

[grimAuxiliatrix ceased trolling arachnidsGrip]

Porrim hums thoughtfully and scrolls back up the closed chat to the part about what supposedly happened all those sweeps ago.

“A revolution, huh?” Porrim says thoughtfully and writes a few things down. She turns and walks off and you leap up and follow her, finding her putting her coat on. She does not need protection from the sun of course, but it does stop the undead biting through to her skin and it keeps the sand out at least a little.

“There is a sandstorm out there.” you protest.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t go anywhere.” Porrim tells you, straps a pair of stylish goggles over her eyes and walks out of the front door.

She does not come back for half a perigree, you had been starting to worry that something was seriously wrong. That she was hurt or dead. No definitely not your moirail, just your only occasionally considerate but fondly regarded hive-mate who pays her share of living here with dismembered desert creatures and undead defence. Well, that and very good sewing lessons.

“There was,” Porrim declares as she bursts in through the doorway, “a revolution.”

“I must have missed that, how careless of me.” you say flatly, shutting the thermal hull.

“No, no, before. Before us there were other generations of trolls and enough generations back there were still adults on the planet. This wasn’t always some… some nursery world for young trolls, it was just our homeworld. But that’s the genius thing about just having juvenile trolls living here and forcing them to leave when they hit age, you can wipe things from living memory really quickly. No official sources talk about, it’s probably illegal to off world and that way the Empress can cull whoever goes against her orders and then you have a whole new generation who sees everything as normal.” Porrim says excitedly.

“Well, so what?” you ask with a sigh.

“So everything! I checked this Signless guy out, found ruins, hidden bases. There’s all sorts of hidden writing about him, how he advocated freedom from the roles we were forced into, compassion among trolls, no more hemospectrum.” she says with breathless excitement.

“The hemospectrum is terrible and stupid, and I agree that people should not be forced into jobs they do not want.” you agree.

“Right? But get this, your friend was right. Our ancestor really did raise The Signless- or, well lots of places don’t call him that. He was executed you see. He gave this supposedly kickass speech as he was _dying_ about how he would free everyone if it was the last thing he did, about how his blood would live on, about how his followers would tear the empire from her dead hands and start a new world of peace.” she says and pulls something from her pocket. She holds her hand out, her fist clenched and then drops something into your open hand. You look at it, it is a necklace with a pattern that’s sort of like a six and a nine but on their sides maybe.

“They call him The Sufferer since his death. Apparently his matesprit got away with his body and escaped even though most of his followers were caught or killed.” she says a little more sadly. There is long dried teal blood crusted into the links of the silver chain.

“It is sad that he failed, it sounds nice. And most people never even try to fix things.” you say softly, running your thumb over the metal.

“Well, there’s theories and notes about that, if he lived. Messages from his followers to one another. Some of them escaped.” Porrim says with a secretive smile. You lean on the counter between the two of you and look at her warily, she is clearly angling for you to ask.

“Where did they escape to?” you ask.

Porrim reaches out and takes your hand, turns it to show off the marks you have on your arm and taps the skull with her claw.

“Earth.” she whispers.

The next time Vriska messages you, you do not brush her off.

AG: 8luh, I don't know if you're even going to 8other reading this 8ut my ancestor Mindfang is going off to get your ancestor 8ack and 8ring her 8ack here.

GA: No I Am Reading

GA: You Say That She Is Getting Her Back But Where From

AG: Can I just 8e upfront and say that I thought a8out my ancestor a lot thanks to all of the stuff that I found and the legends that I read.

GA: Did You Forget That It Was Me That Made Your Mindfang Costume

AG: In the name of the mother gru8 and all her many sphincters, never ever mention that again. I'm going to pretend you didn't.

AG: The point is that you get this idea of what a person is like from that kind of thing and Mindfang always seemed so cool. So daring. Everything I wanted to 8e. I guess I forgot that it was her that wrote all that stuff down.

GA: She Lied Then

AG: Not really, it's more like she framed her stories in a way that made her look really good. 8ut in practice that's not how it feels.

GA: Is She Hurting You Vriska

AG: No not like that it's... We were trying to track down Equius' ancestor, Darkleer who when the revolution happened was on the Empress' side 8ut he realised his mistake at the last second and only nonfatally shot The Sufferer. Or that's how I hear it, there's so many different versions. In some he lives in some he 8ites it. The point is Darkleer never left the planet, he's 8een 8uilding these stealth ships to go to Earth for any mem8er of the revolution left and it's really hard to get a ship that can go as far as Earth 8ut not 8e detected on the way out of our space. 8uilding them all is like some kind of penance for 8eing on the wrong side.

AG: And getting there was this daring high seas voyage and she taught me so much a8out fighting and 8eing like her and it was exciting. 8ut when things got tough she just dropped me to save her own skin, I'm lucky to 8e alive. She's just not a great person, not like I thought she was. So 8efore I tell you a8out your ancestor just know that I don't like this. Alright?

GA: I Am Really Sorry That Happened To You Vriska Aside From The Betrayal Of Being Let Down In A Nearly Fatal Way It Must Hurt To Have A Hero Not Be Who You Thought She Was

AG: Yeah well, let me get to my point. You know I said that your ancestor raised The Sufferer? Well she was there the day that he was executed. She was captured and as punishment sold into slavery.

GA: Oh No

AG: To Mindfang.

GA: Oh

AG: So your ancestor was my ancestor's slave which is pretty 8ad, especially as it's not like they knew each other 8eforehand and it wasn’t like she was, I don't know, 8uying her out of slavery or something. 8ut when she was her slave they had some 'red relationship' which made me think that may8e she wasn't really her slave. Only Mindfang said that she had to sell her on when she lost control of her one time and Dolorosa attacked her.

GA: When You Say Control

GA: What Do You Mean

AG: I didn't want to ask. 8ut I think

AG: I think I mean mind control. I think she mind controlled her.

GA: Oh No

AG: She isn't who I thought she was and I really don't want to 8e like her anymore. She says she needs you 8oth to come here and 8e here 8efore she gets 8ack with your ancestor 8ecause we're leaving for Earth, apparently. And I could make you. And if you don't come I know she or Aranea will.

AG: 8ut I don't think I want to use my psionics ever again.

AG: And I won't use them on you or Porrim. 8ut I don't want to see them make you come here either so can you just choose to come? Please?

GA: We Are Going To Earth Then

AG: Is that a question? Fuck your stupid typing quirk Kanaya.

GA: It Was A Question Is Earth Our Destination And Do You Know Why We Are Going There

AG: As far as I know that's the plan 8ut I've no idea why we're going there. Are you coming or not?

GA: One Moment

You find Porrim and relay all of that to her. She has questions about the range of the Serket’s psionics, how far away they can control you from and how easily they can pick your mind out of thousands of others. You do not have satisfactory answers for her and neither of you are especially willing to test that out given her ancestor’s low moral standing that Vriska has informed you of. Besides, there is another issue.

“You should go to Earth, find out who’s on the other end of that. You can stay here but it won’t be easy. On Earth you’d probably stand a better chance.” Porrim tells you seriously.

“But what about you?” you ask her worriedly.

“Well,” Porrim says thoughtfully, “Alternia is pretty shit, maybe there are places out there where I don’t have to fight the undead in a desert during the day and argue with misogynists online every night.”

“And… girls have got to look out for each other, right?” you ask quietly. Porrim smiles broadly at you, her new lip ring glinting in the light.

“That’s right.” she agrees.

“But wait, what about my mom?” you ask, worry flaring within you.

“Don’t worry about her. I’ll talk to her, see if I can get her to agree to some kind of plan. You tell your friend we’ll go.” Porrim says and walks off to find your lusus.

AG: Kanayaaaaaaaa

GA: Do Not Fuss I Am Here Now I Was Simply Speaking To Porrim About What We Are Going To Do

AG: And?

GA: We Will Come To You I Will Need You To Send Me The Best Way Of Getting To Your Hive Then We Will Make Arrangements And I Will Keep You Up To Date As To Our Travel Plans

AG: YES! Thank you! I'll send you all of that right now.

The next two weeks are a whirlwind of deciding what you can and cannot pack. You digitise as much of your media as you can with Porrim going out to buy you extra hard drive space for all of your shared movies and tv shows. You do not know how long it takes to fly to Earth nor how big a ship you are going to be on but keeping yourself entertained seems like a valuable project. You take your sewing machines and especially rare thread but you just do not have room in your sylladex for all of your fabric.

Knitting needles showed up on your arm recently, through the eye sockets of the skull and behind and as such you have taken up an interest in knitting. At least with that you can undo the yarn and start over so it is a repeatable task where sewing is less so. You scan several books on knitting and patterns too just to be safe.

Your mom seems pretty distressed at the idea of you leaving but you and Porrim have both talked to her. You have explained how Earth is your best chance to survive right now and that you do not have much of a choice anyway. You hope she can find another little jade grub to raise, she was an excellent mother.

You message Vriska to say that you are leaving, finally, and begin the full days walk across the desert to the nearest middle of nowhere sticks town. The sun is hot and baking but you have to go in the day or else you would be stuck in the town in the day when no transport is running. In the desert the undead wander freely and are attracted to your both from far away, you have to keep up a brisk pace or else risk getting swarmed. Unfortunately they do not tire and you do. You and Porrim mow down several but you mostly just avoid them. It is not how the books always talk about it being, mostly you just see the mangled forms of former trolls shambling about and you think about how they used to be people. Used to have interests and lusii, they used to have quadrantmates and friends. Now they are just… this. It is sad.

Still, you make it to the town and wait dusty and temporarily bedraggled at the scuttlebuggy stop. Though in the time it takes for the damned transport to arrive you have both fixed your hair and makeup and drunk some of your water and eaten snacks. You both resort to playing wiggler games to pass the time including both ‘What Have I Seen With My Diminutive Ocular Spheres?’ a game which is much more entertaining here than it would have been mere hours ago where the answers would have just been ‘the sun’, ‘the undead’, or ‘lots of sand’. 

“I’m going to the public culling and I’m going to bring… an advert, a beetle ball, crystallised candy grubs, a… a…” Porrim hesitates.

“Oh, do I win?” you say gleefully.

“No! I, uh, crystallised candy grubs… oh yeah, a disc of season one of ‘Frenemies’, an enigma, folded laundry and… gushers.” Porrim says victoriously. You repress your grimace at the idea, fruit gushers are nasty even if the Empress herself invented them and mandated their joyful consumption on every planet under her rule. The joy is mandatory.

You are saved from having to continue the game by the transport arriving. It is pretty old and crappy but you two make do. You take the seat by the window and Porrim takes the aisle seat. You are explaining to her how many more stops you have left before you have to change next. It is at this point when a boy gets on the scuttlebuggy, tapping his card on the reader and stumbling down the seats towards you both. You think he has been consuming something he should not have been because he does not look totally coherent.

“Hey pretty thinggg.” he slurs at Porrim. He must have been awake all day and is only just now going home, this is the first transport after all.

“I’m not a thing. Fuck off.” Porrim says tersely.

“Aw, come on don’t be like that.” he whines.

Porrim simply stares at him stone faced with a growl building up in her chest, you glare at him and hiss quietly in the hopes that he will go away. His hazy eyes flick towards you and you back up to the window, fumbling your lipstick into your hand. You are not used to your aggressors being sentient and the meanness in his stare is unsettling.

“Well maybe she-” he starts to say but Porrim is suddenly standing on her seat, her revving chainsaw between you and the boy’s outstretched hand.

“Take that back or I take it off.” she snarls at him.

“You fuckin- crazy bitches! Ya ain’t even that hot!” he shouts at you both and retreats back to the front.

“We’re getting off at the next stop.” Porrim says quietly to you and you nod.

The rest of the trip is far less eventful but day has well broken by the time you get to Vriska’s hive. You knock on the door and it swings open with no one there, the shaft of daylight hitting just the wall. You walk in first and Porrim follows, chainsaw in hand. The door slams shut behind you and you blink in the darkness only to find yourself almost nose to nose with Vriska.

“Kanaya!” she gasps and grabs you into a hug. You hug her back, grateful to be in friendly company. She can be contentious and irritating, plus she is your ex-moirail but you like to think that she is still your friend. She pulls back and eyes Porrim who has not put her chainsaw away yet.

“You must be Porrim.” Vriska says, straightening up a little.

“Must I? How fortunate for me that I am then.” Porrim says and puts her weapon away.

“Mindfang isn’t back yet, don’t just stand there come in. Aranea’s asleep which is good because otherwise you’d have to be listening to her. Oh and since we talked about it last we found Darkleer’s other descendant and the three of them are living in Equius’ house which is better than here because they’d destroy this place.” Vriska babbles as she leads the way through her hive which is considerably bigger than yours was.

“I got you some coons, they’re not great but it was hard to explain why I’ve needed so many new ones lately so I’ve been trying to buy in different places so you’ll have to do. I don’t know how much longer it’ll be until the ship is built so this is it for now.” Vriska says, shouldering open a door to a hastily cleared room with two sopor filled coons in it.

“Thank you, Vriska.” you say wearily.

Porrim asks for the ablution block and goes to wash up before sleeping, Vriska heads off to sleep now that you are finally here and you just barely stay awake enough for Porrim to return so you can trade places with her. With that done you all but fall face first into sopor slime with exhaustion.

Vriska’s ancestor’s other descendant is older than Vriska and her name is Aranea. There is a good deal of uncanny resemblance between them just as with you and Porrim. Certainly the self absorption seems to be evident in both of them but Aranea is less brash but more prone to lectures. Vriska certainly seems tired of her talking and the two of you eat breakfast on a balcony overlooking the chasm that Vriska’s lusus has her web spun in. She is too big by far now to leave the chasm.

“What happened to your mom?” Vriska asks, rocking her chair back on its back legs.

“We left her behind, we explained the situation and she understood. She will try to find a new grub maybe. I hope she will be okay.” you tell her.

“Mindfang killed Aranea’s lusus, hers was just like mine. They might have been related for all I know. But Mom’ll have to die before we go, I won’t let her starve to death.” Vriska says quietly.

“That is awful.” you whisper.

“I think I should do it too, it’s only right. She doesn’t know Mindfang and she’s never even seen Aranea. It should be me.” she says.

You do not know what to say. It is clearly a big thing to tell you and she does not sound proud of her decision or boastful, it is just a factual admission that she will do something she hates to do just out of compassion and love. You feel like you should match that kind of confession to show solidarity. It is only right, right?

“I need to show you something.” you whisper and peel your sleeve back.

Vriska’s eyes go wide behind her glasses and she stares at your arm and then gawps at you in shock.

“When did that happen?!” she exclaims.

“Only just before you stopped talking to me, I was working out how to tell you when you vanished and after that I did not see the point in trying to contact you again just to tell you something so dangerous.” you tell her.

“I guess I know why you’re okay with the idea of going to Earth, then.” Vriska says and leans back in her chair again, still eyeing your mark curiously but at least not openly gawping anymore.

“It’s hard to believe you’ll be caught up with a human like that. Are you sure you can handle it?” Vriska asks after a moment.

“I suppose I shall have to see.” you say lightly. Whether you can handle it or not is irrelevant right now, you are going there and you will have to find a way. There is nothing to be done about it right now.

The night passes and you meet Equius in person for the first time and get the chance to thank him for his machine which made you a lovely little oasis. He sweats a lot but seems pleased that his work was successful. The older Zahhak is just as damp but is perhaps a little more personable. Neither of them have much time to chat to you as they have been working in a hastily constructed building that houses the ship that you will be flying to Earth in. Or at least what will be the ship. Right now it is just a skeletal husk of metal. You watch Darkleer moving around inside the ship in the distance, welding things here and there. He is huge and you have never seen an adult up close and you are keen to keep it that way for as long as possible.

It turns out that it is not possible for all that long at all.

Just close to dinner time the game of cards that the four of you had been playing is interrupted by the front door opening. You all rise to your feet as two sets of footsteps rings on the cold stone of the entryway.

“I’m back!” a woman’s voice calls out and Aranea relaxes, Vriska does not.

“Were you successful?” Aranea calls out.

“You tell me.” a woman laughs and she walks around the corner. The Serket shape of her horns is obvious but the outfit she is wearing you know from hours of sewing replication for Vriska, it is Mindfang. Most of her is obscured by another woman who she is making walk backwards into the room with a light push on her collarbone. You recognise your own horns on her instantly. Her clothes are ragged and worn, clearly mass produced for thousands and fitting no one.

“Alright Dolorosa, I’m going to let you go but you’ve really GOT to stop freaking out on me. You know how important everything is now, don’t you? Alright.” Mindfang says and lets go of her, as she lowers her hand it’s filled with a bright blue sword. The woman, your ancestor, stumbles back a pace or two and then seems to shake herself off.

Your ancestor hisses furiously and bodily flings herself at Mindfang who rolls her eyes.

“Seriously?! This is the thanks I get?” Mindfang demands, ducking out of the way. Your ancestor wrenches an antique sword off of the wall, one Vriska found when exploring you have no doubt. It is pretty clear that swords are not your ancestor’s specibus and her grip on the thing is clumsy and novice but not without determination.

“Be reasonable, Dolorosa.” Mindfang says, easily parrying an attack one way.

“Why don’t you just leave her alone?!” Porrim yells.

Startled by Porrim’s voice your ancestor’s sword swing goes wide and Mindfang’s automatic parry shoves it off harder than she perhaps meant. The ancient sword in your ancestor’s hand flicks out of her grip and flies off.

It lodges right in Porrim’s chest.

“PORRIM!” you yell as she topples unevenly to the ground, slumping to her side. You rush to her, the fall has jolted the blade out but that is only making the floor drown in jade faster and faster. You press your hand to the wound, trying to stem the tide but you cannot fix it.

“Look what you _did_.” Mindfang whispers, sounding almost gleeful.

“Get OUT! GET OUT!” your ancestor roars.

You clutch Porrim close as she gurgles and splutters when she breathes. You can hear footsteps leaving but you do not take your eyes off of Porrim until knees enter your peripheral vision. You look up to see your ancestor kneeling, reaching out for Porrim. You hiss as loudly and menacingly as you can, trying to protect Porrim even though you know it is too late for that.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so… so sorry.” your ancestor whispers.

You shake your head and look down at Porrim again, your gut wrenches when you see the unfocused look in her eyes and the way that you can no longer feel her chest move with breath under your hand. She’s- she’s…

You fall backwards onto your behind, staring at the jade on your hands.

“She might be like me.” your ancestor says softly and you look up at her, your vision blurred with tears.

“What do you MEAN?” you demand.

Your view of her might be a little hazy because of the tears but even you cannot miss the way that she suddenly lights up. She is a rainbow drinker! You whip your chainsaw out from sheer reflex and scuttle backwards. Every time you think that this cannot get worse it proceeds to do just that.

“I mean you no harm, really. I will… I will stay here. If she really is like me then we need to wait a little while for her to wake up again.” your ancestor says. You blink the tears away and keep your eyes fixed on her, your chainsaw purring in your hands.

Your ancestor’s skin darkens to normal non-glowing hues once more and she tucks some of her unevenly cut hair behind her ear.

“I’m The Dolorosa, what’s your name?” she asks softly, gently, like she fears scaring you.

“Kanaya Maryam.” you answer, your voice warbling weakly.

“It’s good to see you, Kanaya. I’m sorry that the circumstances aren’t better. Is she… is the pattern thus far holding? Does she have my name too? Porrim Maryam?” Dolorosa asks. You nod, still sniffling.

“Then I would say that she’s going to be fine.” Dolorosa nods.

You eye Porrim. She does not look fine at all.

“Vriska said that Mindfang was tracking you down, something about slavery.” you say warily. Dolorosa’s expression sours.

“Mindfang is the entire reason that I was there in the first place. If it wasn’t for her…” Dolorosa shakes her head and shudders.

“She used her psionics on you.” you say, you saw her walk her in here with them so it is not a big leap to say so. Especially given what Vriska already told you. Dolorosa does not answer you and instead just gently pushes Porrim until she is flat on her back and carefully feels for a pulse in her neck. When she looks back at you she seems to be a little calmer.

“I remember when my boy was your age. He was so sweet when he was little, that was before he had decided on what he wanted to do. When I could keep him safer.” she says softly.

“I am not that young.” you protest and she laughs, a fanged grin splitting her face. The smile fades a little as she starts to talk again.

“I thought he was dead but I’ve recently seen otherwise.” Dolorosa says sadly.

“Vriska said he went to Earth though, is that where you were?” you ask in confusion.

“No, but I went through this same thing recently,” she says and gestures at Porrim’s dead body, “and before I came back I was dead. I got the chance to see and speak to… well, a friend from lifetimes ago. She showed me that he’s alive and now I have to get to him, even if it means being around- around _them_.”

You do not know what to say to that. She is an adult with vastly more life experience than you and plenty of which you have no frame of reference for. Instead you lean over Porrim and brush her long hair out of her face, though some of it is damp with blood. You hesitate, it almost looks like she is… glowing slightly.

“Dolorosa, is she…?” you trail off hopefully. Your ancestor peers down at her and smiles.

You’re still leaning over her when her eyes click open and her skin glows fully but before you can react she crashes into you and a sharp pain bites into your skin. You black out right away.

  


When you come to again things are fuzzy and it does not all happen at once. You clumsily feel for your neck and your fingers brush a sticking plaster stuck there.

“Porrim, she’s awake.” a voice says.

You blearily get your eyes open as a body collides with your own. You weakly wrap your arms around a cooler body and from the crook of the horn pressed against your cheek you can tell who it is.

“Porrim?” you rasp.

She pulls back, tearful and overjoyed to see you. Across the room you can see Dolorosa leaning against the wall, she is smiling and looks a little cleaner now as if she has bathed and scrubbed with vigor. Porrim swipes at her eyes and, oh wow, her skin is really glowing.

“I’m SO sorry!” she sniffles.

“You are alive!” you cheer and hug her.

“You nearly weren’t, I came back and I- I- if Dolorosa hadn’t stopped me I could have killed you.” Porrim whimpers into your shoulder.

The pain in your neck throbs as you hold Porrim closer. You would gladly risk death to keep her with you she is… there, again you feel like there is a word that you need for what she is but you do not know it yet.

“I am very glad that you look after each other.” Dolorosa says and you both look up at her. She steps closer and crouches down by you, to the sofa that you had been put on at some point that Porrim clambered onto as well. Dolorosa gently rests her claws on the edge of the cushion and looks at you both seriously.

“I will do everything that I can to keep you both safe.” she vows.

Over the next week or so Dolorosa whips herself up some new clothes from the materials you and Porrim brought, she cuts her hair into something sleeker and files her claws into a proper shape. Looking more put together she seems regal and important somehow. She commands respect. You and Vriska see just how much when she squares up against Darkleer and insists that you will not be putting a helmsman in the ship at all, you will not take anyone beyond your group and certainly not against their will.

“It’s not- they don’t go against their will. I make it so that they can be unplugged, it’s an escape. One trip instead of a lifetime.” Darkleer protests but Dolorosa will have none of it.

Darkleer returns to work with a lot of muttering and changed plans. Given how much he routinely grovels for Dolorosa’s forgiveness you are pretty sure that he will work something out. And it turns out that you are right. He outfits the ship with a large number of batteries, it unfortunately cuts the living space down enough that there is only three good sized sleeping rooms and so you are sleeping with Dolorosa and Porrim. The others work out their system similarly. The outside of the ship carries solar sails for recharging extra power, he has even hooked up the minimal cardio training equipment the ship is fitted with for stress relief and health into the batteries so that its use adds power.

After nearly half a sweep at Vriska’s place the ship’s batteries have been charged up by psionics who were paid for their labour as per Dolorosa’s insistence. At nightfall you will all finally set off for an alien world. And so you sit on the roof of Vriska’s tall hive and look out across Alternia in the daylight. So few ever see it this way but you think it is beautiful all the same. The jutting distant structures of the city far away, the wide expanse of the ocean the other way in the far distance, rolling scrubgrass and faint mountain ranges just hazed out by clouds. This is your planet, your home and for all of its very many flaws it is part of you and you are sure that you will miss it until the day you die.

“Kanaya, we need to go.” Dolorosa says gently behind you and you tuck your legs in and turn, climbing inside.

“Are you sure all of your things are inside of the ship?” Dolorosa asks.

“I am sure.” you nod.

“Then we should get on board early.” Dolorosa says with a firm nod. You spare a last glance at the dusky slice of sky through the open window and then follow.

You go down to the main room and find all of the Serkets there, arguing of course.

“I said I would do it!” Vriska snaps at Mindfang who rolls her eyes.

“Your mom?” you guess and Vriska whirls around to look at you. She nods sharply. You promised that you would be there with her and she clearly has not done it yet.

“Vriska can handle this.” you assure Mindfang, trying to replicate the no nonsense tone that Dolorosa manages with ease.

“Whatever.” Mindfang sighs.

Darkleer has to talk to Mindfang so and Vriska take that opportunity to sneak off. Vriska silently leads you through the lower levels of her home, down flight after flight of stairs and past rooms that were previously stuffed with treasure before the need to build a ship arose. Vriska walks out the open archway to a ledge in the cavern. Her gargantuan mother turns to look at you, many legs moving in tandem. You make sure to stick close to Vriska, you do not know how reasonable her mother is.

Vriska’s lusus is suspended on a web in the canyon but now she has been fed so much in her stationary location that she has grown too vast to exit this place. Even trying to pull down the tower of rock that Equius’ hive partially balances on would likely kill or maim her with the explosions and falling rock. At least what Vriska intends to do is fast.

Vriska looks down at the octet of dice in her hand, her whole posture is tense.

“These are supposed to rely on luck but is this… is this good or bad luck? What result is best?” Vriska whispers.

“You know what would be worse.” you tell her gently.

Vriska looks up at her mother who blinks all eight eyes in a wave from left to right. You know Vriska hated having to feed her, what it necessitated that she do and who it made her become. But for all the flaws a parent has you do not think it is possible to ever fully remove them from you, even in death. Whether that seems to be a comfort or a curse depends on the parent you suppose.

You choose not to listen to the whispered goodbye Vriska gives her mom but you pay attention when she throws her dice. They land on the ground.

Six, five, two, seven, four, three, one and finally seven again. A guillotine appears, scales itself up to fit the spider and drops the blade. Her head rolls on the floor and blood splatters up the wall, flecking you and Vriska in places. You wrap your arm around Vriska’s shoulder and stare ahead as she shudders with the determination of not sobbing, of not crying. Finally she stills and nods.

“Let’s go.” she croaks.

The two of you turn your back on spidermom and walk slowly up the stairs. After that things are a whirlwind of getting into the ship which was, in the end, so salvaged from Mindfang’s own that it became a remodeled version with the appropriate paint job. You check all of the things in your room are there, you help with the last tests of the water system as Porrim checks all of the lights. You all have your jobs and when they are done you each strap yourselves into your seats in the main flight area of the ship. Mindfang and Darkleer sit side by side, speaking in technical terms that you do not understand as they flick switches and check things on screen.

“We’re ready.” Darkleer says.

“Opening the hive roof.” Mindfang nods and presses a button. Above you through the glass you can see two large plates shift aside the halves of Equius’ roof without letting the rubble hit the ship. The ship is tilted back so it rests on its end.

More checks are done and then Mindfang looks over her shoulder at all of you, you’re sandwiched between Porrim and Vriska on the line of seats.

“Here we go.” she says and flashes a grin at you.

The ship starts to rumble so fiercely that you think you might vibrate apart and then suddenly your head smacks into the back of your seat as all of the acceleration happens at once. The clouds rush past you and you gasp, clutching hold of Vriska’s hand and Porrim’s leg. Clouds give way to faint purple haze and then blackness.

“Moonswing phase in three… two… one…” Darkleer says and your ship pitches to the side and suddenly the green moon fills the window of the ship. You think that your speed is increasing but for whatever reason Mindfang feels that it is appropriate to flip off the green moon as you pass it. It feels like no time at all until the green moon is behind you.

“There’s no chatter from the close range sensors, we slipped by unnoticed. There are still long range ones to contend with but so far we are good.” Darkleer informs you all and everyone sighs with relief.

From then on you are allowed to wander around the ship as you will. At first this is exciting, you look at all of the supplies that it was not your job to check. You read a few books on your husktop, chat with Porrim and Equius about the launch and when it comes time to eat you do so.

Within twelve hours you are bored.

Space is desperately dull.

You can hardly see outside as every window is covered with displays and you are shooed away if you get too close to them. Vriska is understandably down after the death of her mother. There are only so many games of cards that you can play before you go mad. Needless to say it is a relief a week in when you discover what you come to think of as your spot.

There is, above the main shuttle area where your seats are, a small and flat metal panel. It sticks out from a maintenance hatch and it is right up close to the window, so close that when you lay on your back and shimmy down it your horns clack against the glass. You are so out of the way that there are no displays to thwart your view and you are so close to the window that space is all of your view. If you keep your head still just so then all you see is space, no ship, no other trolls, just space.

It is just so big, so vast and unspeakably beautiful. You stay there for hours and hours just watching. As your eyes adjust to the darkness of it you see more and more stars, tiny pinpricks of light that are full burning things with planets and maybe life around them.

You watch gas clouds in every colour fill distant galaxies and star systems, you watch as they glitter, more beautiful than anything you have ever laid your eyes on before. You wish you could reach out and touch it as if it were some beautiful fabric. Oh but if it was you could make the very best things with it. Stitch the universe together, hem it, wear it and be resplendent.

You sleep up there sometimes, with the sopor patches that Porrim used to have but you now need. You lull yourself to sleep with cold glass inches from your nose and dream of flying through the stars in a dress made of space, twirling a gauzy haze from a gas giant around your shoulders.

When you’re not stargazing you spend time with the others, sharing movies and tv shows. Only that becomes quite the chore at times as Darkleer is very adamant about not leeching power from the ship for such frivolities so you all have to use the exercise equipment to charge someone’s husktop so you can all watch.

Eventually it becomes apparent that there is some problem. Not with the Alternian military sensing you, unless you got very unlucky and stumbled upon one of their ships that is not an issue anymore. No, there is some kind of signal interference going on.

“Is someone trying to hail us?” Mindfang asks as she looks at the screen, you’re looking down from above in your spot.

“No, it’s not targeted just… it’s everywhere. Background noise but obvious signals, it’s deliberate.” Darkleer says with a shake of his head.

“Where does it originate from?” Mindfang asks and taps at a display.

“I don’t-” Darkleer begins but the screen Mindfang is tapping on beeps and flashes.

“Earth. The signals are coming from Earth.” Mindfang says, her voice flat.

“So what do they say?” Dolorosa asks from below. Both Darkleer and Mindfang look over at her.

“Oh, honestly, neither of you bothered to look at what these signals say? To decode them at all?” Dolorosa says in disbelief.

“It’s not how we code that stuff and… I’ll just… hm, it’s audio.” Darkleer says, his fingers flying over the keys.

Your stomach clenches, what sort of message would humans be blasting out into space? A threat to stay away? A warning to trolls coming closer? It has to be aggressive for a species to stand on their planet and screech it into the vastness of space, challenging anyone who can hear them to listen and act on it.

Darkleer taps a few more buttons and suddenly speech is piped through the speakers, one is very close to you. It is speech, human speech. Their tone is weirdly flat but the words are completely understandable to you.

“-next is Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald with Dream a Little Dream of Me. I have to say out of all of the versions of this in the charts this year ladies and gentlemen, this is my favourite. We hope you like it too.” the voice says. What is he, you think it is a he, talking about? You barely have time to think when a new sound starts up. It is not speech but an instrument you think. Something brassy and bright, another instrument something more sombre maybe and more still after that. It is… music.

Humans have music.

A woman’s voice starts up, little snippets of words you don’t understand but then she begins to sing. A human, singing!

_“Stars shining bright above you_

_Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"_

_Birds singing in the sycamore trees_

_Dream a little dream of me”_

You roll onto your back again and stare into the stars as the voice of a human woman fills your ears. Not with rage or threats but a song about… about love. They are not challenging other species to a fight, humans are standing alone on their planet singing to the stars. Tears well up in your eyes and you cover your mouth as you continue to listen to what ought to be impossible.

_“Say nighty-night and kiss me_

_Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me_

_While I'm alone and blue as can be_

_Dream a little dream of me”_

Your fingers find the mark on your arm, you do not even need to look. Is this what the person who put that on you is like? Really and truly a person and not a monster? All you had heard were just lies and stories?

Suddenly the voice changes to something deeper, a man, maybe and the song is suddenly a duet.

**“Stars fading but I linger on dear”** _“Oh, how you linger on”_

**“Still craving your kiss”** _“How you crave my kiss”_

**“Now I'm longing to linger till dawn dear**

**Just saying this”**

_“Give me a little kiss_

_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you_

_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you_

_But in your dreams whatever they be_

_Dream a little dream of me”_

You peel back your sleeve and hold it up before your face now and touch your hand to the glass above you. You’re flying through space to… to whoever gave you this. To someone who lives on a planet that has love, that feels it so hard they put it into music just like trolls do. And you will meet them, you know that much about how this thing works. So you wonder, as the voices of humans sing in your ears for the very first time… do they dream of you?

**“Stars fading but I linger on dear**

**Still craving your kiss**

**Yeah I'm longing to linger till dawn dear**

**Just saying this...”**

The two singers voices tangle together as they sing with each other, over each other. Too alive with love to be orderly. Beneath you the others have come in, drawn by the sound of alien music and though they are not listening silently no one talks in above the quietest whisper.

The song finishes with a bright flourish like sunshine on your skin and then fades out. The first man comes back in and says the names of the singers again, though they sound strange to your ears. The signal cuts out before more music can play, but it is enough for you.

When you dream next you are among the stars again, in a dress of space, only now you are not alone. You are dancing with someone. A girl, you think. Her form is clearly based on troll features though you know your mind is aiming for human. When you wake the whole picture escapes you but the details linger. A flash of sharp teeth in a smile that almost glow like the ice belts of planets, alien eyes in hues of galaxies. As you danced her feet kept pace with all the grace of a binary star, caught in your orbit. Lips and lashes as dark as the deepest void outside. And she sings the song you heard, entreats you to dream of her even as you already are.

Time passes and you listen to and watch all of the human communication that you can. Unfortunately background radiation of space has distorted a lot of it but Darkleer is able to pull much from the void and the closer you get the easier it is. The six of you younger trolls tend to watch things together or play cards together but the adults show no such cohesion. Dolorosa will sometimes talk to Darkleer and spend time with him but she almost religiously avoids Mindfang and you do not blame her. Darkleer and Mindfang also seem to prefer to be apart and when they are together their conversations seem to be all business. It seems too heavy but you do not know what their mutual past is beyond the mere snippets that Porrim managed to find out before which may or may not be true.

You catch fragments of human movies and TV shows and see how they change as you get closer. The closer you get the more complete the things you see are. Darkleer explains that the signals that you are getting are from the past and the closer you get to Earth the more modern they are. Humans seem enamoured with their music, they even have movies where people burst into song for no obvious reason. You are reasonably sure they do not actually do that because you watch many movies where this does not happen. All the same you do enjoy the movies with the singing, you also watch the plots with interest.

Beautiful men and women with gorgeous marks on their skin finding each other and falling in love, they kiss, the music swells and happily ever after. Then there are other movies, ones with spies who suddenly match with a girl in the employ of their enemy and he has to rescue her in a whirlwind chase. There are movies where it does not go so well or the partner just is not a character really. There is an archeologist, Doctor Jones, who matched with his soulmate once in a disaster, just brushed their skin and never knew who it was so now he wanders the Earth sleeping with beautiful women and being bad at archeology.

The movies that you like the best are the animated ones. The ones with heiresses who always find their soulmate. There is singing in those ones too. Despite Porrim’s protests that the movies are sexist you think that the heroines of them have interesting lives. Cinderella wants to escape her terrible life and happens to find her soulmate, even though she has to prove that it is really her and her littermates try to pretend it was them. She does not give up or accept injustice and is kind, just like Porrim. There is Jasmine who is smart about who she chooses to test her mark against, knowing that so many people want her for her wealth.

The one you relate to most, though, is Ariel. It seems that human seadwellers or ‘merfolk’ are more divergent than troll seadwellers are from land trolls, their ones are kept to the ocean. The result of which is that Ariel is caught in a terrible situation where her soulmate is a landweller and you infer that there’s some kind of war that necessitates the merfolk having to hide from the landwellers. The movie is frustratingly vague on that backstory but you suppose it is common knowledge to humans. They also must be small in number as you almost never see them or hear about them in other movies. Ariel has to go to great lengths to meet her soulmate again and convince him of who she is when under the influence of some psionics. You fear that when you get to Earth you will be as confused by basic things as Ariel is when she is among the landwellers, but you at least have the gift of speech still.

You get other stories too, but not from Earth. You and Porrim curl up under warm blankets in your cramped room as Dolorosa tells you about the son she had, the Signless. She speaks of his kindness, his warmth and love. Of his lofty goals of making Alternia a better place but she avoids telling you how it all went so wrong. Instead you get funny stories about him as a child and as a grub, embarrassing tales of his adolescence and when he finally met the two trolls that he got romantically involved in through some unusual pan quadrant heretical love.

Vriska is… different. She seems to recover from the pain of the loss of her mother but she treats you oddly afterwards. Whether it is because you were her moirail once or because of what you saw her do you do not know, but you do know that Vriska prefers emotional distance. She is irksome, she always has been, but now she uses it to keep you away. And you are fine with that, she is your friend and that can be true even if you do not like her all of the time.

No matter how much you like anyone on this ship there is only so long you can spend in close confines with people before you are basically ready to never see them ever again. At the very least getting out of the small space of the ship would be great. As such you could not be happier to have Darkleer and Mindfang bring you all closer to Earth, as you enter their solar system and surge closer and closer to the planet you lay in your spot and crane your head back to see a glimpse of the planet.

It is there, warped by the curve of the window but it is bright. Blue like sapphires, hung in the darkness and nearly glowing with light as you get closer to it.

“Kanaya you need to buckle in.” Dolorosa insists. She reaches up and pulls you down and drops you in your seat between Porrim and Vriska.

“Visual for the approach, Darkleer.” Mindfang says seriously. Darkleer taps a few buttons and a display pops up showing the Earth in far better magnification, the same glorious blue with perfect white clouds around it. It would look like Skaia from your dreams if not for the tan and green swathes of land peeking out. It is so much more detailed, perfect in imperfection.

“Angle more to that landmass there, that one.” Dolorosa says, pointing out two conjoined continents.

“I have the coordinates Dolorosa, be quiet.” Mindfang snaps.

“Locked, we should be entering atmosphere any moment now. Stabilisation is… on.” Darkleer informs her.

Everything begins to rumble again. You tuck your feet up on the seat and grit your teeth, your hands clinging to the straps and buckles holding you in. Your horns clack on the seat slightly as the vibration gets pan shakingly intense.

“Lowering approach speed, this is too hot. Prevailing wind is throwing us off that should be- ah, there. Better.” Mindfang says calmly and you cling to the thought that if they are calm then you will be fine. Mindfang does not want to crash and as long as your life is tied to the thing keeping her alive you will be fine.

“We’re here. Descending to- is that supposed to be a street? It’s so narrow. We can fit, landing.” Darkleer says. There is a subtle bump and then the sound of things powering down as the two adults up front start switching things on or possibly off and speaking in what may as well be code. Mindfang suddenly stands up, dons her hat and sweeps off.

Darkeer stands as well, nervous, rubbing his hands on his clothes as he sweats. He shoots Dolorosa a worried glance.

“She has every reason not to forgive me.” he mutters.

“And you have every need to ask.” Dolorosa reminds him. He nods and walks off out of the room, you have no idea who he is begging forgiveness from. From the Signless if he is still alive?

“Are we getting off now?” you ask as Dolorosa unclips you.

“Stay here where it’s safe for now, I’ll call you out when you can come out.” Dolorosa insists, undoing your buckles and smoothing your hair down. She kisses you on the forehead and turns to Porrim.

“Keep each other safe, okay?” Dolorosa whispers and kisses her hair too. Porrim nods and Dolorosa sweeps off.

“I need my stuff.” Vriska mumbles and rushes away.

The five of you remaining slink towards the door in the way that a group of kids can, no one leading or taking charge of the idea just sort of meandering that way with plausible deniability. There is a flash of movement and you see light through the open door. Vriska is at the other end of the hallway, she bolts past the door and rushes to you.

“She said that Dolorosa should go out but she already has so- we can go out too apparently.” Vriska tells you, in her hand is some blue communication device that you have not seen before but you would guess it leads to Mindfang.

“The sunlight is safe, right?” Equius asks hesitantly.

“The adults are out there just fine, you should be alright.” you tell him.

“Easy for you to say.” Vriska mutters.

“Are you six getting out of here or what?” Mindfang’s voice demands through the device in Vriska’s hand, making several of you jolt in alarm.

Vriska pushes her way through and she and Aranea go out first, then the Zahhaks and finally Porrim takes your hand, squeezes it, and pulls you out into the light of Earth. It is bright, nothing like the sun back home but bright enough for someone shut indoors so long.

There are many adults out here but Dolorosa is talking to a man who looks like the descriptions that she gave you of the Signless. Clustered behind him are a bunch of young trolls, two obviously related to him. With nowhere else obvious to go you and Porrim head to your ancestor. She gently slides her arm behind you both as you stop at her side.

“This is Porrim, she’s seven and Kanaya is four and a half as well. Girls, this is The Signless and his descendants Kankri and Karkat.” Dolorosa explains and you look up at the adult troll who smiles at you both with happy tears still in his eyes.

“Hi.” Porrim says and waves at them all.

“It’s very nice to meet all of you.” you say as politely as you can manage and a boy about your age with little round horns and out of control hair looks at you as if starstruck.

The adults talk, Mindfang and Dolorosa threaten each other in a way that does not surprise you but you are not paying attention to that. You turn your head to look over the wooden barrier to their lawn and see humans in the distance, real live humans! They are looking at you with a mix of curiosity and wariness, staring at the new arrivals and the ship that brought you all here.

You can scarcely fight your grin. You are finally here, on Earth. A human from nearby comes over to angrily complain about there being a ship in the road and though his words are not pleasant you can see the pattern of marks up his arm. He is human and he has a soulmate, just like you do.

The younger trolls usher you inside their hive without any seeming thought to the danger you might pose, they act as if they trust you completely. Just like the kids in human movies do. As you go into their hive you see food and items that you have seen in movies, tv shows and adverts.

This is not Alternia but you think that maybe this is your home, no matter how far you had to go to get here.


End file.
